


Freedom

by Quackyeon



Category: B1A4
Genre: Established Relationship, Future Fic, M/M, drag fic, they have been together so long
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-06
Updated: 2017-04-06
Packaged: 2018-10-15 09:32:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10554048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quackyeon/pseuds/Quackyeon
Summary: Chanshik has always worn the mask of Gongchan so he doesn't find it weird that he feels free under another mask.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [kpopolymfics2017](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/kpopolymfics2017) collection. 



> This fic was written for K-Pop Olymfics 2017. Olymfics is a challenge in which participants write fics based on prompt sets and compete against other teams of writers, organized by genre. 
> 
> This is Team Future’s fic for the following prompt set:  
>  **Luna – "Free Somebody"**  
> [lyrics](https://colorcodedlyrics.com/2016/05/luna-free-somebody) | [video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lpwG8f9nt4s) | [supplementary](https://secure.static.tumblr.com/b64b75723bac85f554b8e2f80e063a8a/5do4iqb/ulOntgug6/tumblr_static_filename_640_v2.jpg) [prompts](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/olymficsmod/37777224/1412/1412_900.jpg)
> 
> The other 2 fics for this prompt can be found in [the collection](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/kpopolymfics2017). Competition winners are chosen by the readers, so please rate this fic using [this survey](https://drive.google.com/open?id=1qNvf4cNSh2g5rH2QJ-45XV5t_kBPkzqwX-2wnS_fAnI)!
> 
> A huge thank you to Blossom who didn't tell me I was crazy and actively encouraged this. In fact they came up with some massive world ideas that really helped me centre my writing.

It wasn't unusual for this to happen. Chanshik got home and began to pull his false eyelashes off, slowly washing his face as he looked in the mirror. He had thrown the heels off in the doorway. Jinyoung was out late, again, Chanshik assumed at the studio probably producing Junghwan's album. Chanshik understood why none of them trusted anyone but Jinyoung's experienced hands on their work. He knew why Jinyoung wrote songs for them, he knew that Jinyoung had a way with words that no one else did. He knew the others knew that Chanshik was Jinyoung's muse but he wondered if they knew that Starlight was also a muse. 

Starlight was created just after B1A4 broke up, Chanshik had decided to step out of the mainstream limelight. He let his boyfriend retain that, it wasn't that he didn't want to act, but he always felt like he was wearing the Gongchan-mask, and he was never able to be himself. He knew it was ironic that now he had a different stage name but being Starlight was different. Starlight was a mask but in the good way, Starlight allowed him to be who he was without the fear of people tracing it back to B1A4 and ruining their new solo careers. Well, it had started out as that. 

That was almost a lie, it had started because he like to frequent the gay clubs in Homo Hill in Itaewon, he mingled amongst the foreigners, and sometimes allowed men to buy him a drink - although he always told him that he was committed to his boyfriend. He wasn't that kind of guy and he never had been. He'd been with Jinyoung since just after OK came out. And he was in no way looking to change that fact. Chanshik might not be able to marry the man but he was more than capable of being fully committed. He knew that they had to be careful because their relationship could jeopardize Jinyoung's career if it ever became public knowledge. 

Chanshik had liked the drag shows, he loved how free they all were, how their inhibitions were dropped and they were just feeling the moment. Chanshik had been envious of them, they were able to escape from the world that they were trapped in. A world that didn't understand them or even try to. He wondered if there was ever going to be a change in South Korea but he wasn't getting his hopes up. There was never going to be a change, Korea doesn't change. Historically it only industrialised because it was forced to during the Japanese Occupation and then once it had established an economy that was horrifically flawed, Korea refused to change until the Asian Financial Crisis in 1997 - and even then it was only because the International Monetary Fund forced them to in exchange for a bail out. 

The Chaebol still reigned supreme. 'A government is for five years but the Chaebol remain'. That was a phrase that must haunt the government because of the verity of it. Chanshik knew that with flaws, corruption and scandal not even touching the Chaebol, the government that nothing was going to change the way men like him were seen. Gay men. Chanshik had told the rest of the group and he'd been terrified of what they were going to say, because you never knew in Korea. 

When Chanshik had met Go-Chu (Stage name, meaning Pepper, or slang for a male's intimate parts) he hadn't expected it to go the way it had. He had just wanted to talk to the person and get to know them. He hadn't expected to find a drag mother. Go-Chu had helped Chanshik do his makeup the first time and tuck, Chanshik had been able to get himself into a dress. It was weird, he looked at himself in the mirror and it felt like someone else was staring back at him. 

Someone beautiful, someone who could go out and have fun. Sure there were risks - if one strayed too far from homo hill, but he could be free here. No one would be able to recognise him and he was still hot. He had taken what felt like four million photos but in reality had only been about thirty. He felt free, finally. He felt like his wings were spreading and he was able to be himself. 

He hadn't told Jinyoung that night about Starlight, he had just pulled the man into bed with him. Chanshik had had to come clean to Jinyoung pretty quickly - because he wanted to do his makeup at home to get better at it and he wanted to buy nice dresses for Starlight because he hated that his new friends were lending him clothes - they didn't always fit right but beggars can't be choosers now, can they? 

Jinyoung had taken it surprisingly well. He had wanted to see Starlight and Chanshik had just accepted that, it seemed only fair that Jinyoung knew what he was signing up to. Chanshik had walked into their bedroom as Starlight one night, before he was supposed to go out. Jinyoung had gotten up and kissed him (to the point where Chanshik had to re-do his lipstick) and that was that. 

Jinyoung liked to see photos of Starlight but had asked that Chanshik didn't bring her to bed with them. Chanshik knew that Jinyoung found him attractive as a man and a woman - and he wondered if that bothered the older man who purely identified as a homosexual male. He'd never asked and he didn't plan on asking that question. 

Chanshik continued to take off his drag and slowly change back into himself. He pulled one of his oversized shirts on and his boxers and began cleaning away all the stuff that was used to transform him into Starlight and back again. Jinyoung never made a comment about it being out, or about the sheer amount of glitter that got everywhere in their apartment but Chanshik liked to keep it tidied away - that way if anyone came over, they wouldn't see all the things. It wasn't that he was ashamed, he was actually pretty proud of the work he'd put into Starlight and how beautiful she looked, but people in Korea weren't the most accepting, and while B1A4 had been cool with him and Jinyoung being together and both being men, Chanshik could never be quite sure how they'd take the whole drag queen thing. 

Jinyoung came home a little past six am. Chanshik was still awake, sat in their living room playing an online game with Hongbin (and thanking the stars that it was a co-op game because Hongbin was far better than he was). Chanshik said bye on his headset and turned the game off despite the other's pleas to just finish this game. He sighed looking at Jinyoung who was in the kitchen pouring himself a glass of orange juice, leaning on the counter to keep himself up. 

"You were out late." Chanshik stated quietly. 

"So were you. I saw the clubs instagram stories." 

"That's different. You're exhausted." Chanshik said softly. 

"We're doing the same job just in different ways." Jinyoung mumbled, drinking quickly and putting his glass in the sink. "I'm going to bed. I'm sure you'll be up for a bit longer. Tell Hongbin I said hi." 

"I've already said goodbye to him. I'm coming to bed with you." Chanshik said quietly. "Did you think I looked pretty today?" Chanshik asked once they were both in bed, snuggled up against each other. Jinyoung nodded and then closed his eyes. 

"You always look pretty." 

"Maybe, but did you think I looked like a woman?" 

"Why does it matter? Everyone knows Starlight is a drag queen." 

"I just like to look female." Chanshik shrugged. "It's like being a different person and that's why I do it." 

"What's wrong with being Chanshik?" Jinyoung's eyes were open again, he looked pretty serious this time. "Is something wrong? Do I need to know something?" 

"No, Jinyoung." Chanshik sighed. "I just feel free as Starlight, you know? You feel free when you're writing music and I just feel free like this." Chanshik gave his boyfriend a small smile. He knew that Jinyoung didn't really understand why Chanshik did drag - and had on more than one occasion asked Chanshik if he felt like he should have been a woman (which is a misconception about drag). Chanshik sighed a little. "I just want to be free, you know." 

"I know." Jinyoung stroked Chanshik's hair softly. Things hadn't been easy for either of them. Coming out to their parents and introducing their boyfriend had been difficult. Chanshik's parents had been so loving and accepting and so had Jinyoung's but there was always under the surface tension with Jinyoung's parents as he had been the only son. He got the feeling that they were supportive but hoping he would still find a woman to marry. 

Then there was the fact they were both very much in the closet when it came to the public. Chanshik wasn't in the public eye anymore and that suited him fine but Jinyoung was. There were always dating rumours with Jinyoung, that he was dating some (always very pretty) girl, they always laughed about it, but at the same time it still hurt Chanshik a little that no one thought it could be him that made Jinyoung happy. 

Jinyoung had curled into his side and seemed to be asleep. Chanshik lay on his back and looked up at their ceiling, thinking about everything. He wondered if there was ever going to be a day when something was different in any way, but for now he was pretty content with the fact that he was free for a few hours in the day. Even if they were always at night. 

Chanshik was sat at the vanity doing his makeup when Jinyoung walked in and sat down on the bed, watching Chanshik working on his face. "You can talk." Chanshik said, hand not faltering as he did his eye shadow. He was currently putting an emerald green on his lids. His favourite part of getting ready as Starlight was the eyes, he loved the way that you could transform eyes into something magical. He already had his coloured contacts in and he could already feel himself becoming the character of Starlight. 

"I want to understand this." Jinyoung said softly and Chanshik put the makeup brush down. "I want to come see you, _Starlight_ , performing." 

"You know it's just lip-syncing and dancing." Chanshik said resuming doing his intricate eye makeup. "It's nothing you haven't seen me do before, in fact before you saw me actually singing." 

"If you don't want me to go that's ok." Jinyoung shook his head. "I was just trying to support you." 

"I don't need your approval." 

"I've never said anything against Starlight. I love that you've got a new passion and I love seeing you excited for something other than beating Hongbin's high score." Jinyoung shifted where he was sat. "I also saw that Starlight was picked as one of the most influential drag queens in the Korean drag scene. I was wondering why you had declined to interview or go on the photo shoot."

"Because I'd have to go as Chanshik and then do the makeup there and then people would know it was me and then they'd know I was gay and then they'd connect everything back to you and the others and I love being Starlight, but the point of being her is that I'm not Chanshik. I can be loud, I can be _gay_ and no one gets hurt. I'm free, Jinyoung. I can't be free once everyone knows who I am." 

"Channie," Jinyoung said softly, getting up and pressing a kiss to Chanshik's neck, as it was the only place he knew he wouldn't get whined at for messing up the other's makeup. "I want you to be free. But if you want to do the photo shoot, tell them you'll only go if you can get your makeup on here without them. Tell them how important it is to you to keep your identity hidden. It's a shame if the world doesn't get to see how beautiful you are." 

"Well I am beautiful." Chanshik smiled a little. "You need to go so I can get ready. Ok?"


End file.
